Not Alone

Written By Remaliah Evans

I’m single and I take full advantage of my singlehood. I never have to rush home, worry about dinner, coordinate schedules with the hubby, or try to help my kids with homework that I don’t understand. However I do look forward to the time when my life does include these activities. In the meantime, I’m single and most days I’m fine being single…..  until Valentine’s Day rolls around. The minute I see the Valentine’s Day aisle at Wal-Mart, (which is now fully stocked by December 26th!)  and the never-ending commercials pushing flowers, jewelry, and heart-shaped fruit, I start rolling my eyes. Here we go, the season where I am reminded that I am alone. As tempting as it may be to throw the woe-is-me-cause-I’m-single pity party, I’m all pity partied out from Valentine’s Days pasts. Plus, it turns out, I am not alone.  At times I feel alone because it seems I am the only person I know without special plans for plans for Valentine’s Day, and I wanted to get married, like, yesterday. But I am trusting God with my life and for His plans because He understands me, He delights in every detail of my life, (Psalm 37:23 NLT) and He is always with me. (Joshua 1:9)

 I am not alone because the Holy Spirit is with me all the time and He is my comforter and ever-present help. The Holy Spirit even shows up to my pity parties! He does not join the party of course, but He encourages me and reminds of the Word and the promises that God has for my life. The times when I’m crying my eyes out about failures, shattered dreams, or a broken heart, He has been there. Not only has He been there but He has healed my broken hearts. There was one particular heartbreak that caught me off guard. I think because I did not realize how much I cared about this person until it was over. So when the relationship ended I told God, “I don’t know how many times I can I have my heartbroken.” And He responded, “I heal your broken heart and each time that it has been broken, I have made it stronger.” Wow. I was stunned and comforted. My natural propensity and defense mechanism was to try not to feel anything. Despite this, God has been healing my heart, helping me to forgive, and teaching me how to love. Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted. (Isaiah 61:1)

When I am still and I listen to the Holy Spirit, loneliness and heartache begin to dissipate because I am in the presence of the One who knows me better than I know myself, the One who knows what I’m going to say before I say it, and the One who FIRST loved me. If wanting to be married is important to you, then it is important to God. If restoring your marriage is your heart’s cry, this is important to God. Luke 12:27 tells us that the hairs on our head are numbered. If God cares about the number of hairs on your head then surely He cares about our relationships. He loves you! I urge you to seek Him and hear his heart and direction for you; you will be encouraged.

 God did not design you to be alone. Hence your relationships with Him, family, and friends. If you look at the people in your life, chances are that you will find God has blessed you with at least one or two people who love you and support you. It may be your husband, friend, mom, dad, sister, brother, pastor, teacher, or mentor. So don’t believe the lie that you are alone. Embrace and appreciate those who love you, and love them back. Let’s not be so consumed with who loves us and who doesn’t, that we forget to love as Christ loves us.

 Romans 12:15 says to rejoice with those who rejoice. This is some good advice because 1) we all know how it feels to be so excited you think you might actually pop… and then you tell someone your good news and they just burst your bubble. Let’s not be that bubble-bursting person. 2) We also know how good it feels to share good news, and the person you shared with is genuinely as excited and happy as we are. It feels great! I believe that this is another way to give love. Rejoicing with those who rejoice increases our own joy and keeps us connected to others. It also reminds us that we are not alone.

 As we approach this Valentine’s Day let’s celebrate each other, and let’s celebrate God’s unfailing love.

Character Assassination

When some people are at their worst, God is at His best

Written by Remaliah Evans

I hired a new administrative assistant named “Linda” who soon decided that she wanted to work for a client. Working for our clients is expressly forbidden by our client contracts. At 6pm on a Friday I received an email from Linda stating that I was not a personable supervisor, I did not provide the tools that she needed to succeed, and therefore she was forced to quit without notice. On Monday, another administrative assistant informed me and my Regional Manager that Linda was working for our client. Per the client contract our Operations Director promptly sent the client an invoice totaling 6 months of Linda’s salary.

Linda proceeded to accuse me of not training her, not paying her overtime, and not following up with her harassment claim involving another admin. She continued accusing me for two months and then threatened to sue my company unless we rescinded the invoice to our client. Fortunately I had a plethora of documentation to prove that Linda was not telling the truth. However I spent two months tormented with the fear that my professional reputation might be destroyed and concerned that I might lose my job.

It seemed that all I could do was dwell on the accusations. I found myself bursting into tears whenever I was alone because I felt betrayed. No one had ever tried to assassinate my character and have me fired before, and when it happened my heart broke in a way that I never knew it could break. I had invested a great deal of time into training Linda because she had great potential and I wanted to create a team environment and eventually promote her.

During this time family and friends prayed with me constantly and I was led to these verses:

Psalms 103:1-4 Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit.

Psalms 37:5-6 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Every time I would worry and get emotional, I would thank the Lord for redeeming my life from the pit and I would thank the Him for vindicating me. It was a very long two months, however in the end, the Lord did just what He promised. He completely protected and redeemed my reputation!

Dwelling on a negative situation is torment. When I started to dwell on the Father’s promises, I found hope. And then I saw that even though it all worked out in the end, I had to forgive. Not just say I forgave her, but really forgive her in my heart. I thought I had forgiven Linda but then God gave me a dream. In the dream, Linda came to ask me for forgiveness and I did not forgive her. I love God’s persistence speaks, if I am not listening during the day, He’ll talk to me through dreams! So God had me pray for her and bless her and her son daily; which was not easy. Through God’s grace and mercy, I was finally able to completely forgive her. These were hard lessons, however I thank God for teaching me, loving me, and sending me people to pray with me and speak truth. Oh! And after Linda left, God blessed with an admin who is reliable, incredibly easy to work with, and overqualified!