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Written by: Yvonne Galindo
I wanted to share my thoughts on intimacy in marriage. I am not talking about sex; that’s not all that makes a marriage. First let’s start with the definition of intimacy; togetherness, affinity, friendship, affection and warmth. That all sounds wonderful, right! It can be. Just know that the most important part of your relationship with your husband is communication. If you have communication than you have a friend in your husband and everything else will follow. I say this because friendship is a big part of an emotional bond and closeness that both can share. You should be able to share just about anything with your spouse in spite of your differences. Married now five years; I have come to a new prospective on marriage and relationships Am I an expert? Far from it. But I will say my husband and I are the best of friends. We have our differences and I can be very opinionated at times, ok all the time. I will say it makes for good conversation and I love it; the best part is we work through those differences. My stubbornness and opinions may have to do with my independence for many years. I know that’s no excuse! Anytime there is disagreement, he will always quote a poem by Howard Simon “Choose the (your) mountain” he is such a philosopher! Well I know a little about climbing so I decide not to choose any mountain because it takes too much time and sweat to climb. Meaning disagreeing all the time can become more of emotional burden. We have learned and have grown from those differences and sometimes accept those small imperfections.
I have heard people say you can agree to disagree; I don’t buy it. That just means nothing is ever resolved. Just my opinion! There is so much more I can write on marriage & romance etc. The photo on your left tells a story of choices, it shows a box of wedding rings from married couples that were not given a choice during the Holocaust. “Food for thought.” Let me just end with this: when I look in the mirror I see my flaws, but when my husband looks at me he sees God’s Grace. Now I wrote this to point out the one thing we do agree on is our faith in Jesus Christ. We have developed a deeper relationship & togetherness through prayer and knowing who we are in Christ. We never pray for one’s own agenda; we always pray for the solution never the problem. We laugh, we cry, and yes disagree. I think the key here is to accept the one you love and all their imperfections whatever they may be, and don’t try to change each other.
Note for the single ladies
During the years of my single life I had a lot of time to figure out who I am and most of all learn to love myself. That’s very important in a marriage; there are so many women who are not confident in who they are and become very insecure. If you can be confident in who you are then you can feel comfortable with the one you love.
For more from Yvonne Galindo, please visit her blog.