Marriage and Respect

This month marks 5 years of marriage for me and my Mr.  So when I was give then opportunity to write about marriage and having God in our marriage, my Spirit  just leaped.  I knew this was God sent.

What God impressed on me to share is on RESPECT I will now give a disclaimer before I go any further: I have NOT mastered this area, so allow me to be candid.  I will be honest about certain struggles. It is not an easy thing to open up.

I have to admit I am guilty of only sharing our positive, happy, smiley photos and stories on social media.  Not so much to paint a picture perfect marriage but I don’t like to do rant posts or share my dirty laundry. However I am going to step out in faith and be transparent for the purpose of offering hope to hurting wives and to help bring THE LIGHT to struggling marriages.
Now let me say that what I do share on my social media is the truth and as real as can be however there are certain times when it’s not all pretty, all the time. I am really hoping this is normal. Most times are all smiles with Mr. Aguila.  He is a truly amazing, God sent husband.  He is so patient, so loving and so thoughtful quite the opposite of me.

So moving along and on to RESPECT which means to esteem; the state of being admired; thoughtfulness. Ephesians 5:31-33 instructs us and is titled in the New Living Translation version, Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

While doing my research I found the word deference as a synonym for respect. Deference means respect:  polite respect; especially putting ANOTHER person’s interest FIRST.

We must follow Philippians 2:3

I like this version. Philippians 2:3 The Voice  Don’t let selfishness and prideful agendas take over. Embrace true humility, and lift your heads to extend love to others.

And this one..Philippians 2:3 New King James Version (NKJV) ³Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
We are now one with our spouses.  We are not better than them or deserve more or entitled to more we actually should honor and respect each other ABOVE ourselves.
Romans 12:10 instructs us in the New International Version (NIV)  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. These two scriptures are speaking against selfishness and showing us not to be self-seeking.  It is not all about us.  We did not get married to put the pressure on our spouses to make us and keep us happy.  We must always allow God to be our joy and happiness.  “The Joy of the Lord to be our strength.”  The bible does not say the joy that comes from my spouse.  God must take center stage in our marriages.

If we can love with that First Corinthians 13 kind of love than respect will begin to show up and show off but many of us wives know that it is not always easy, easy to be patient, or meek or kind or selfless.  I know for me it’s not and there are times when I am not patient and if I miss one then I miss them all because when I am not selfless I am not patient and I am not kind and I am not meek.  I get frustrated and start being disrespectful and yelling at my husband all because I didn’t get what I wanted.  Our bickering is over the smallest dumbest things but if Mrs. Aguila doesn’t get what she want, everyone will know.  Lately Mr. Aguila has been bringing my crazy outburst to my attention and lets not talk about all the rolling of the eyes, the sighs and the whatevers I throw in from time to time. That is all disrespectful.

We must see respect as a noun plus a verb.  Respect is not just something we know, it has to be something we show.  It requires action on our part.  A daily decision to put into action that First Corinthian Chapter Thirteen love which will pull out that respect we are instructed to have for our husbands.

Maybe you feel your husband doesn’t deserve your respect or that you don’t have to submit to him.  If you feel that way then try being obedient to the word of God, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ as Ephesians 5:21 tells us.  Most times I feel as if I don’t deserve my husband’s love to be honest.  This is one of my struggles and being open and transparent before God and being accountable is a great start for change.

Matthew 6:33 in the New Living Translation says, “Seek the kingdom of God above ALL else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”  I do believe that this is not only material stuff but it includes wisdom and respect and above all else love.  These are all also things we need.

Written By Victoria Aguila.

For more from Victoria Aguila, please visit http://faithhopeandtreasures.blogspot.com/