I will never forget how relieved I was when the words penetrated my heart and thoughts-
“You have been on the operating table for a while now…” I remember laughing out loud and thinking “that is exactly how I feel!!” I have been in bondage over 40 years and I was OK with who I was. I thought I was given a bad deal in life and I accepted it. I had built a fortress, formed a hardened heart, lived in a tortured mind, and I was my own worst enemy for most of my life. God’s operating table would soon be made available to me. He would provide the experts and bandages for the procedures and aftercare I needed.
I came to the Lord in 2009. God had already been tugging at my heart, but I had no idea what I was in for. I accepted His invitation in the fall, along with my husband. We thought we were set to go. Boy, were we in for a Big Surprise!! I remember trying to “FIT IN;” I was good at becoming a “MARTHA”. All the compulsive disorders I had developed due to the dysfunctional upbringing kicked in and wore me out.
Then came my crying-out to God “Lord, you know I am a mess and could you PLEASE send me some AMAZING WOMEN OF GOD to help me be who you created me to be??” I remember shortly after I said that prayer I thought “I don’t know why or where the “”WOMEN”” came from in that prayer”. You see, I was a Tom Boy and never really cared for women relationships. But God knew! The next day, an awesome woman I felt comfortable sharing with, Kim Gutierrez, invited me to this event called Life Builder Seminars. She smiled and said “I think you might enjoy it!”
I remember that day traveling to Brea, not knowing what to expect, but hungry to be healed. I don’t recall the topic but I do remember the twinkle in Pastor Cathy’s eye and the warm hug I received when introduced and I thought “She see’s something in me that I can’t see in myself!” Wondering what that something was, and hungry for more, I couldn’t wait for the Life Builder seminar. My heart was racing, mind overthinking…I knew I had found a treasure. A place I could go and feel safe and heal. A place where my past, pain, and shame wouldn’t be thrown in my face, instead I would be embraced.
The healing began. The operating table was set before me. The experts were instructed when to perform. Life Builder Seminars prepared me for my new journey.
God knew exactly what I needed when I cried out to Him. Just as the Word promises in Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. Jeremiah 33:3 says Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Preparing For A New Season. Entering New Territory.
Written By: Deborah Negroni
If you’d like to reach Deborah, you can reach her by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org